if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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