I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
