R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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