the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
