it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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