I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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