Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
