Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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