these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
