have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
