Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
