The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
