Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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