I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
