if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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