He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
