rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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