The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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