I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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