he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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