i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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