yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
