Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
