I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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