You just made me feel so damn special
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Drunk is a universal language darling
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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