hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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