I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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