I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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