we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
