so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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