we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
