I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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