I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
