no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
