That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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