So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize