she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
meet me or not, i'm out of control
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
