OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
