ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
