The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
