It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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