I wanna bring you to show and tell
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
