You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
