Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
