hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
