I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
