A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
