Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
