she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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