Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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