The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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