Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
