So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
