Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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