Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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