She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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