dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
