When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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