I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
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