the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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